Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Funeral (part 2)

After experiencing the big long process of the funeral here on Monday I was told the next day, Tuesday, that there would be another big meal that evening. The meals that celebrate the dead are called praznik (not sure about spelling). My host dad told me that they have these on the third day after the death (which was yesterday), the ninth day, the 40th day, at half a year, and then at a year. After that they can do it has often as they want. I think they all do it after 10 years. So after work I headed over to my old host family's house where the super long picknick table was still set up and we ate all the left over food from the previous day. My host dad's drunken dad cornered me at one point and talked my ear off about who knows what. There is a dialect of Romanian that we call Moldovan that is really hard to understand, especially from old village folk. It sounds like they are speaking an entire different language. But he made me promise that I would come for a masa at his house when my parents came to visit- so beware mom, dad, and Jenni. I met some other old, old woman who was very surprised I was American. She told me I had eyes like hers, a nose, and cheeks. She was baffled how similar I looked to a Moldovan. I guess her idea of an American is how we think aliens must look. It was amusing and I made a joke out of it telling her I had legs and arms like they did also. We had a good laugh together. So the next praznik will be Saturday. Another huge masa where I will probably stuff myself full of delicious food. It is funny that I am running 35 miles a week yet not losing any of my "Moldovan burta" (gut). The food here is just too good to eat a normal size portion. Plus I always have people telling me "eat, eat" so thats what I do. No complaints here though!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The tradition I was hoping to never have to experience in Moldova...

Yesterday I went to a funeral. Before you freak out, don't worry, I barely knew her. I am in no way upset. On Friday my host dad's sister died. She had been sick for a long time so it was no big surprise. I had only met her twice and they were very brief meetings. I didn't find out that she died until Saturday night when I got home from a few days in Chisinau. My family was in the village arranging the funeral and i happened to lose my keys and was locked out (thank goodness there are three other volunteers nearby I can rely on). So it wasn't until Sunday that I saw my host brother who brought me a key. My host mom said I could come to the funeral if I wanted. I had no idea what to say or do. What do they say to each other? Should I go to the funeral? What would I do there? I was to scared to ask and decided at the last minute, 10 minutes before they were walking out the door, to go. I figured I could lend support to my family and my counterpart (it was her sister-in-law). I have really only been to one funeral that I really remember and that is what my caparison is based on. We showed up to my old family's house (it was her sister) around 10am. There was a viewing of the body there until around 12. Then they did a ceremony thing with the priest and gave out gifts to people who had come, they gave bowls, towels, scarves, teapots, and colac (a type of ceremonial bread). That lasted about an hour. Then they formed a parade(for lack of a better word) line to walk the body to the church and then to the cemetery. In front of the line was the kids carrying the flower arrangements that people had brought, followed by the religious flag/banner carriers, then the priest, the body with the family, and then the rest of the mourners. We would walk about 50 yards and then stop to pray and sing for a couple a minutes, and we did this all the way to the church. The 15 minute walk took us about an hour. Then at the church they took the body inside for about a half an hour and prayed- I am not really sure because I didn't go in. I didn't want to impose being the outsider and all and because I am not religious at all. They then brought the body back outside and marched to the cemetery. There they laid the coffin next to the grave and gave the family members a chance to say their final goodbyes before they placed the lid on. I would have to say that this was the hardest part of the entire process. The family members were just wailing. A couple of the sister passed out. This all lead to all of us crying of course. I was sad because I saw how upset her sons were, who are my age, and how they had to bury their mother, who was only 43. This made me think of my parents and made me very homesick to be with them. It wasn't until the cemetery that I actually got a good look at her because I didn't view the body at the house or the church and the rest of times it was completely surrounded by people. And not wanting to impose and step on any toes I stood back. But finally seeing the body was really weird because they don't preserve the bodies here like we do. Her skin was very waxy and yellow. And I have heard from other volunteers who go to funerals of car crash victims who look exactly the same way they did when they were pulled from the wreckage. Not only do they not preserve the bodies but they don't put any type of make up on them either for the viewing. It is very strange to see. SO once the body was placed in the ground we went back to the house for a huge masa. There had to be at least 80 people sitting at the extra long table that was overflowing with food. It was weird to sit there eating the food and discussing with the women around me about myself- where I am from, what I am doing here, etc, etc- when we were supposed to be mourning this woman. I still don't know what to say to my host dad. I have just been really quiet around him and have just been staying in my room. I don't know how he is taking it and I am scared to ask. I don't even know the proper way to ask or give condolences. It is all very weird and i really hope to not have to go through it again.

Update

I know I didn’t post all summer but it was because I was out having fun. I spent every weekend traveling around Moldova seeing different cool places. Jason was here with me June and July and he really got to experience Moldova. It took us two months but we finally found a place to swim in a small town about an hour north of Balti. It was an actual outdoor swimming pool!!! And it wasn’t too dirty, we could smell some chlorine! It was so awesome. We also went on different hikes around Moldova, most not being real hiking places but us just walking beside a river for 10 miles, the best we could do. I worked some. Most of the kids were on vacation so my English classes were small and I didn’t have much to do. Most of you received the email about my awesome birthday meal and trip, those who didn’t- just email me and I will forward it to you. The weather finally mellowed down near the end of August. We have gotten a lot of rain, though a bit too late. Most of Moldova’s crops did not grow and they are now having to rely on donations from Ukraine and some world food organization. It is interesting that this was the hottest and driest summer in a 100 years and the winter two years was the coldest in 100 years. The group that came the year before us got to experience both of these, bummer. Now we are having really cool mornings and warm afternoons. It is nice to be wearing jeans again but still able to wear sandals. I have only worn tennis shoes once since the beginning of May (except of course when I run). Life is good though. I am currently trying to find some work to do. Now that we have hit the one year mark I am beginning to reflect on the past year and decide what I want to do this next year and how I want to leave my mark here in Moldova. A few of us have begun discussing an anti-littering campaign. That could be a huge project that would be really hard to catch on considering Moldovans freely throw trash everywhere, even on the ground right next to garbage cans. I just recently wrote a grant to do a village clean up and install a few benches and garbage cans and to do some anti littering seminars at the school along with a brochure to pass out throughout the village. I am still waiting the results. Today was my first morning teaching English at a kindergarten in Balti. I will be doing that two mornings a week. I have three groups of young children 3-5 years old. Each group only lasts at most 30 minutes because that’s all their attention span will allow. It was really funny today teaching the youngest group, we did it outside, and they way they would get distracted by an airplane overhead or saying bye-bye to a passing truck. We are also in the process of finishing up the renovations on our fitness center and have started buying the equipment. I hope it will be open in less than a month. Everyone wants to name the center “Jennifer”! I tried to say no but they won’t listen, they want to always remember me. Cute. Now that fall had hit me and my close friends have begun planning our Christmas festivities. We gotta have something to look forward to, right? It’s not that weird is it? (I am sure my mom has already started her shopping.) We picked secret snowflakes (we changed from secret Santa because we have a Jewish friend involved). So if anyone is thinking of sending a package and want to include a can of pumpkin, brown sugar, or some marshmallows- that would be sweet! And maybe some candy canes or other Christmas type candy, like reces (sp) cups! I miss you all a lot! Honestly.

The Current

I wrote a previous, very short, post about the weather being 95 degrees. Most of our summer here in Moldova was 95 degrees, at least. We had one week where the only time it dropped below 100 was at night, and even then I think it only got down to 95. One day was almost 50 degrees Celsius- what is that in Fahrenheit? Hmmm, maybe 115. Not sure, you can do the calculation yourself. So during the 3 months where days averaged 95 degrees (I think we had 3 days of rain) it was kind of miserable. Going to work became a punishment because with all the computers on and the 20 bodies crammed in increased the temperature by at least 10-15 degrees. And the place was full of flies! Seriously. There would be 50 flies flying into my face and landing on my forehead and hands while I was typing. I am not sure if I hate mosquitoes buzzing in my ear at night or flies landing all over me more.

So anyways, during this crazy heat wave draught that Moldova went through I had to use public transportation numerous times. I had to use to and from work, around the city, to go to Chisinau, and for different excursions I went on throughout Moldova. This might not seem like a big problem, except that no one would open any windows out of fear of the Current. I do not refer to a current of electricity but instead to the breeze or wind. Moldovans are terrified (!) of a breeze. They would have rather died of heat stroke in the overcrowded, stifling buses than to open the windows. It was something we actually had to argue and fight over to try to keep the top hatches of the buses open (though we usually lost to some old baba). Many trips we would disembark completely soaked as if we had just jumped in a swimming pool.

The thing about the Current is that it makes you sick. This simple breeze is what causes the illnesses here in Moldova. My host dad would often close all the doors in the house to stop the cross breeze cooling down the house in fear that we would all get sick. WHAT?! And this isn’t just some superstition like breaking a mirror and having “bad luck” for 7 years, or whatever. Everyone believes in it, seriously believe in it. Even the doctors will blame ailments on the Current. It is especially bad for young children. They wrap babies up here in as much clothing as they can without suffocating them to protect them from the current. This summer, when it was 110 degrees, a woman could tell everyone to shut the windows on the bus because her baby would get sick from the Current and not one single person would argue but instead rush to close up the bus. The only thing that is going to make that kid sick is heat stroke!!! But they don’t listen. We try to explain what really causes illnesses and that the Current doesn’t exist but they won’t listen, at all. It is crazy and frustrating.